She whispers my name... Only I can hear

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Not waving

Drowning

4 comments:

Morgan said...

We're all drowning. Why not wave to the people watching from shore?

Bobbb - Citizen of Earth said...

Thanks Morgan
I'm not to worried about drowning this time.

I am however, wondering how I could have been swept away so quickly by my feelings for someone new in my life

"Gone in 60 seconds" would be a good way to describe it

And so I find myself learning about love vs. infatuation this day.

This is something I want so badly that I have mustered the courage to actually look into myself and my feelings.
With the help of a good friend and some excellent resources on the web I am learning allot

So far I am surprised by the results:

Love is winning by a landslide.

I would have guessed just the opposite.
Mostly because of the intensity of this connection

Sadly I am also learning that most of my relationships in the past have been based on infatuation.
Something I knew in my heart, but have never confronted in the light of the day.

Not that there wasn’t love there, for it is always a mix of feelings, a matter of degree.
But this might just well be the first time I have truly loved someone right from the start.
The force that attracts me to her is overwhelming; I have never felt anything like it
The changes going on inside myself are startling
Amazing
Beautiful
She has brought out the best in me to such a degree that I am in awe.
I am more than I have ever been – if that makes sense.

I look forward to spending the time it will take to really get to know this person, to see if love will grow.
Is it possible she can ever feel the same about me?

It will be difficult, for she is 15 years my junior.
A part of my heart would like to see her love a younger man.
(Love talking)
Yet I realize that this is not my choice to make
At some point I will have to accept that she loves me
Or that she does not.
If she is happy – then my heart will be glad for that.
Even though I be lost in the wells of sorrow.

Still I have hope, for there is chemistry between us, and magic too.
I have only just realized that not only do I deserve this, but that this is what I have, for so long, have longed for, have prayed for.

~SIGH!~

As for my feelings toward you Morgan – this is a no brainer
Infatuation – all the way!

Haha J/k
I already know that I will have great love for you too
But love of another kind – and not of the sort that would take anything from you or you loving family
And not of the sort that would interfere with what is happening to me now.

Simply an excellent bond between a token hippie, and an aging one

Morgan said...

You know, Bobb, sometimes the most heartbreaking disappointments turn out to be blessings in disguise. And infatuation with another can indeed be a dicey thing, but only if it is so bright that it blinds us to their faults.

Personally, I don't think 15 years is that big a difference. Larry is seven years older than I, but it might as well be 15. He's very stoic and grounded, the perfect complement to my creative whims and silliness. A lot of women prefer the stability of an older guy. So don't let the age difference dash your hopes.

Infatuation can be a fun ride, too, as long as you balance it with an honest assessment of the other person's strengths and faults. What is infatuation, after all, but being swept away after the floodgates of feelings burst open? It's not a leisurely drifting down stream, but a wild ride down the rapids. Slow and steady love is arguably safer, but infatuation is so *exciting*, what with the danger of capsizing and all. Just be sure if you do capsize to right yourself quickly. Don't drown, Bobb. If you do, just wave. I'll be here, friend.

Citizen of Earth said...

Update
The woman in question cared nothing for me at all
She was just looking for attention

I no longer give her any